What did I learn from my failures?

24. 03. 2017

English

All of us who are subjected to the public eye have to learn to deal with the perception of other people and their judging of our lives. Being a blogger since 2011. I experienced how some people react to what they believe my life is based on my content. I can understand why they would get this incomplete picture if they only see my photos on Instagram or catch snippets of my life. I am sharing this post with you in order to make you aware of the fact that I am not a superhuman, I have many bad days and no matter how pretty my life looks like on Instagram, trust me, I know struggle, I know the pain, I know how it feels to be clueless about what you want to do next, devastated and alone, broken-hearted and miserable. Let’s talk about the other side of the shiny coin for a change.

ON THE ONE HAND…

In the past 5 years, I lived in New York, Montclair, Dubai, Limassol, Abu Dhabi, London, and Belgrade. I made my biggest dream come true when I got a full UGRAD scholarship for my studies in the US where I kickstarted my careers working for VEVO and Estro Communications.  I visited over 30 countries and explored the world, met some great people, started 3 startups and got $30.000 seed investment for one of them. I also got to attend The Nobel Peace Prize in December 2015, won the award of the city of Belgrade for extraordinary achievement in the field of art in 2013.

In 2016 I’ve started my own marketing agency and founded workshops for helping women turn their passion into profit. They were attended by over 1000 women in Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Macedonia, Bosnia, and New York City. I was paid to speak at over 10 conferences across the region and I started making much more money from my marketing consulting business, public speaking and my blog than I could ever imagine. I collaborated with 6 Tourism organizations, 5 airlines, and 10 large Serbian brands. I won the Austrian Airlines Global Blogger Challenge and Wow Air Iceland Challenge.  Since March 2016, I’ve become a Cosmopolitan Serbia Lifestyle Editor, Coca-Cola Network Adria Blogger, and Spark Me Conference Official Blogger.

This all sounds pretty amazing, right? Well, let’s not judge the book by its covers, because…

ON THE OTHER…

I suffered from depression, insomnia, sleep paralysis, panic attacks, severe stomach pains, and allergies. I visited numerous doctors in numerous countries, more times than I can remember. Since 2011 when I moved to the United States twenty-one years old I lived and worked in 6 cities, co-founded 3 startups and raised one seed investment. I ended up homeless and broke twice. Once in California on New Year’s Eve and another time in Dubai on April Fools Day.  I was backstabbed by the people I trusted and loved most. I was told by the people I loved that I was worthless, weak and lame. I came home one day packed everything I had in my closets, including bags, clothes, shoes, and makeup and gave it away. I started wearing only black and white, not putting on any makeup because I was tired of it all. Of looking like I was all sorted and did well, while instead, I was sick and tired of it all. I was burned out. Of all the struggle, sleepless nights, trusting the wrong people, not having any support system but myself. Of being stabbed in the back, left alone, not believed in…

My colleague told me to give up entrepreneurship because I am not a programmer. I was told I should just get married, have kids and act like a normal woman whatever that meant for those giving me that advice. I was told I was too emotional, too much or too little, too direct or not direct enough. I was too creative or not creative enough. Whatever I did and whoever I was somebody was unhappy about it. Sounds familiar? So I’ve decided to be who I am because it was the easiest thing for me. People were not gonna agree anyways. People are gonna watch, listen and judge. Make it worth their while by being yourself.

There have been many more shitty things happening in the previous year and there are probably many more to come. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

GOOD SIDE OF IT ALL

  • I learned to tap myself on the back and acknowledge myself when I do well.
  • I learned never to put all of my eggs in one basket.
  • I learned to always have a plan B, C, and D.
  • I learned to think twice and analyze more before making a rational decision.
  • I learned who my real friends are.
  • I learned that a hug can save a life.
  • I learned that ice cold or burning hot shower will do when you don’t have a hug.
  • I learned that to cheer yourself up, you need to cheer someone else up first 🙂
  • I learned that a random act of kindness can bring a smile to the coldest person in the world.
  • I learned that handwritten letters are like cushions of love.
  • I learned that giving compliments to people when they don’t expect, it is the best thing ever.
  • I learned to actively listen and hear what’s being unsaid.
  • I learned to always leave something unsaid.
  • I learned to acknowledge people’s feelings, no matter how unrelatable they are.
  • I learned the importance of yoga, meditation, and exercise.
  • I learned the importance of being in nature.
  • I learned the importance of donating 20% of your monthly earnings to charity.
  • I learned to avoid people who nag, snap or gossip.
  • I started to donate blood every 4 months.
  • I got to know myself better.
  • I got to realize that what makes A happy doesn’t necessarily make B happy!
  • I learned to give proofs of love to people while I still have the opportunity.
  • I learned to differentiate resolutions from goals.
  • I learned to cherish my memories.
  • I learned to always show up.
  • I learned to be patient.
  • To give deeds of love to people while I still have the opportunity.

I learned to trust that everything happens for a reason.

Never forget this…

To realize your greatest potential you’ll have to first go through your greatest fears.

What is one thing you are so embarrassed about you wouldn’t like anyone to know? Tell 3 people you trust.

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